My boyfriend has a nicer house, and says I should live with him. My mortgage is paid off. He believes I should pay half of his monthly costs. Is that fair?

Dear Quentin,

My boyfriend has a home with a 30-year mortgage balance of $150,000 at a 4% interest rate. He has $275,000 in cash and retirement accounts. He is retired.

My house is paid off. I have $50,000 in cash and retirement accounts. I want to retire within a year or two.

We want to cohabitate but can’t agree on a reasonable “rent” to pay. She is not willing to live in my house because there are less facilities.

He believes I should pay half of his monthly expenses on his nice, expensive house. He can pay off his mortgage and save $600 a month, but he likes cash.

I gave up that luxury and paid off my mortgage. I am currently working on building my savings. I don’t think it’s fair to pay half of the mortgage interest expense.

I don’t know what maintenance and repair expenses should be expected from me if I don’t have equity in his house. There are many approaches, none of which feel reasonable.

Here are the options he presented:

· I live in his house and thus rent my house. Pay him half of what I net from that rent.

· I pay half of his house maintenance and actual living expenses while I live there.

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· Pay what I pay to live in my current home for taxes, insurance, and utilities: $800/month.

What do you say, monetarist?

Landlord and girlfriend

Dear Landlord,

I’m sure your house is nice too. And just because he believes it, doesn’t make it. If you have no mortgage on your house, I don’t believe you should pay one red cent more to live in his house.

That is, you shouldn’t pay too much out of this arrangement, just because he (a) wants you to live in his house and (b) helps him pay his mortgage or his taxes and maintenance.

You both made different choices: Your home should be free and mortgage-free, so you can spend this time building your savings for retirement and/or a rainy day.

You’ve worked hard to pay off your mortgage, and you have $50,000 in savings, less than 20% of your boyfriend’s savings. He has $150,000 left on his mortgage, and that’s his choice.

If his goal is to find help paying off half of his mortgage, he can find a renter to do that for him.

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You’re not the answer to his long-term financial plans, you’re his partner in life. If his goal is to find help paying off half of his mortgage, he can find a renter to do that for him. what to do you Expect from you? Forget what he expected.

As he approaches this arrangement, it seems he wants the equivalent of detergent and fabric softener—a girlfriend and a tenant in one bottle to keep his financial plans smooth and clean.

Bottom line: You shouldn’t compromise on any plan to build your nest egg. Women are not meant to be turned around. Only accept his plan if, with the help of an actual tenant in your home — it helps you too.

In other words, the desired outcome for you is more important than the suggestions he puts forth. He can save $600 a month! That is his business. not yours What do you want to keep in your pocket every month?

Find out what it is you want, and then work your way back based on that goal. For example, if you can pay him $800 a month, charge $1,600 in rent for your house, and put $800 in your savings, do that.

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You’ve come a long way. Don’t let these conversations disrupt that.

Check it out Monetarist Private Facebook group, where we seek answers to life’s thorniest money issues. Readers write to me with all kinds of dilemmas. Post your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.

The financier regrets that he cannot answer the questions personally.

By emailing your questions, you agree to publish them anonymously on MarketWatch. By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Company, publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story, or versions thereof, in all media and platforms, including through third parties..

Also read:

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‘We won’t outlive our money’: How can we give $10,000 to our nieces and nephews without offending the rest of the family?

‘I hate being cheap’: Is it still acceptable to turn up at a friend’s house for dinner with a bottle of wine?

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